What is in the art of caring for oneself? If you take the time to nurture yourself you will find that this act has enormous benefits to yourself, your state and the people you care most about. See how the simple act of nurturing can help to lift your relationship, and your energy levels in the process.

Often we get so busy in our lives and so focussed on taking care of others that we forget to nurture ourselves. Part of the challenge for each and every one of us is to ensure we are taking responsibility for our own health and wellbeing, which includes our own energy levels. It’s all too easy to get trapped in the story that our job is to take care of everyone else and when we do, we then get caught in feeling angry at others for robbing us of energy or we look to someone else to take care of us. In turn, we then overlook our own needs for so long that one day we wake up and feel like we’re “drifting” and have lost our sense of purpose and clarity in life. This is not a great place to be and usually has the effect of draining our energy, as we struggle to know how to go forward.

In this situation, it is possible that you could have completely lost touch with what things you find nurturing, so that even when you do make time to do something for yourself, you feel uneasy about what to do with that time. Nurturing yourself helps to ensure there is a supply of energy running into your “tank” so you can continue to invest in the people and things that matter to you. A simple step in finding “me” time can give you the energy and strive into making your relationship succeed.

What is nurture and what does it mean to “nurture yourself and others?

To answer this question we first must define nurture. Nurture is the action we take to care for, look after, foster, cultivate, take care of or cherish ourselves and others. In essence, to nurture ourselves or others is to take action to treasure, value, appreciate, relish and take pleasure in who we are and what we have to offer. This sounds simple enough, but many of us still get caught up in offering this nurturing care for others and forget that we need first to offer this care to ourselves.

You may recall having listened to the safety briefing when you have flown on a plane and when they give you instructions about the oxygen masks, they always say, “please fit your own mask before assisting others”. It’s simple really – if you can’t breathe you will be of little support to others! So it is with nurture.

To discover what you find nurturing, you have to look beyond what you like, into what you ‘need’. Things that we find nurturing in one situation may not work in another. For example, you may find that, you love to catch up with friends and go for a coffee, however when you are really tired you may find that getting a massage or having a long relaxing bath is just what you needed. So it’s not only important to know what you find nurturing, but also to be aware of what you want or need in any given situation. It all depends on how you feel at that time and what else you are doing in your life, but it reinforces the need to be aware of how you feel and what you need. In a sense, it is a matching process, as you get clear about your own needs and decide what things you will find nurturing at that time.

If you really stopped and thought about it you could probably recall times when you have felt really deeply nurtured and other times when your experience of something nurturing seemed somehow superficial. So what was different? There are many things that impact the way in which you experience nurture, including simple things like the amount and quality of sleep you get, your diet, the type of exercise you do, even the type of work you do. If you spend all day working in an office or on a computer, you may find that it’s far more nurturing to go outside and go for a walk or do some gardening than to sit quietly and read a book. Again the key is to be aware of how you are feeling and what you need in order to ensure the nurturing activity you choose has a “fit”.

By taking the time to nurture yourself you are also teaching the people around you that it is ok to love, be honest and take some time for yourself. Think that instead of cleaning your children’s room today you took the time to invest in teaching the importance of self-worth through nurturing oneself. Though doing so you are not only able to create a life that you love, but to be more present in the moment and able to express the truth of who you are. In this way, you live a more open-hearted life and you will notice that in so doing, you inspire others to do the same.